ouch, Ouch, OUCH!

January 15
OK ... I'm waving my white flag.  Enough.  Radiation is brutal and although I've had 20 treatments and 1 boost, I think I'm refusing the final 4 boosts.  I have open sores now.  Yuck.  They hurt and the thought of adding more pain on top of this pain is just too overwhelming.  There's something to be said about quality of life and right now, the quality of my life isn't that great.  I'm just not going to take it anymore!!!

I had a great Christmas and I hope all of you did as well.  The radiation drags you down, so I didn't have as much energy as I usually do and that part was a bummer, but still, I enjoyed most of it.  Here are some pictures from December:

My granddaughters, Sophia and Charlotte, on Christmas Eve.  I can't believe how tall Sophia is and she's only two years older than Charlotte!  She looks almost like a pre-teen!  Love these precious girls.

Walt had been crying because he couldn't have a candy cane.  Now he has his candy cane!

My guy, Charlie, is dreaming about asking a question.  Haha!

Clark went in the bathroom and came back with the toilet paper roll shaped like a heart.  It was his way of telling me that he loves me!  We laughed and laughed and laughed.  He's so creative!

All the stockings were hung by the chimney with care ... (and yes, I needlepointed all but three of them.  My mother needlepointed Jason's, Ryan's, and Emily's.)

Eleven down ... only 19 to go!!

December 21

Radiation isn't too bad, but I AM getting burned and it's beginning to itch.  Yuck.  I think the hardest part is driving up there every day knowing that I'm just going to get burned some more.  It's kinda like getting sunburned at the beach, and going back every day to get sunburned on top of the sunburn you already have.

Ever seen the inside of a radiation room?

I lie on the bed and put my arms in the "stirrups" up by my head and then hold on to a bar that sticks up between my arms. That blue thingy on the bed is where i rest my legs.  Once I'm settled in, they cover my arms and head and the rest of my body with warm blankets.  (Ahhhhh.)  Then they raise the table and position me just right with lasers pointing at the tattoos and marks they made on my chest and under my arm.  When I'm all positioned, they bring down "George," my name for the radiation machine.  It's the circular thing facing down at the top of the pic.  The therapists bring George down to the exact spot where he's supposed to be, and they ask the same questions every time.  "Mrs. E, we're in the radiation room, the equipment is in the right position, and we're going to radiate your right breast.  Is that correct?"  And sometimes just for fun, I'll say, 'NO!  GET ME OFF THIS DAMNED TABLE."  It's always good for a laugh.

When the radiation therapists leave the room to administer the radiation, I'm all alone on that table in that big room with walls so thick a cell phone won't work in there.  I don't like being alone in that room even if it is only for a minute.  

So now you know what a radiation room looks like!  Aren't you glad??

Chemo's Over!!

December 11, 2011

I had my very last chemo on November 14th.  It was a really good day because when i was finished I got to ring the special bell.  A good friend of mine gave the bell to the cancer center before he died of colon cancer.  

This is a picture of the bell:

Here's a picture of what is printed on the plaque.  It's so touching.

In this picture is my good friend, Leigh Ann (in the front), my friend, Sally, who's husband gave the bell (in the back), my son, Ryan, and his children.  I'm holding Walt, Ryan is holding Charlotte, and Clark is standing in front.  Love, love, love these people.  They all came to support me while I rang the bell.

I'm in the chemo chair with Clark, Charlotte and Walt.  Those kids bring the sunshine with them everywhere they go.

I've started radiation ... had three treatments so far.  I go everyday, five days a week for six weeks, and it's really easy.  The actual time i spend in the radiation room is probably a total of 10 minutes.  For real!  How could I complain about that?  I bought some rather expensive cream at the cancer center pharmacy that supposedly will keep me from getting badly burned.  I'm slathering that stuff on two or three times a day!  

I'm still getting a Herceptin infusion every three weeks.  That isn't bad either; it takes about an hour and I'm done.  Herceptin is the miracle drug for my Her2 positive cancer.  It's not chemo so there are no side effects other than keeping my hair from growing in as quickly.  I can't complain about that either.  When it's ready, my hair will make an appearance!

How cute is this picture of Sophia and her new little brother, my guy, Charlie?

#5 CHEMO ... DONE!

October 26

One more treatment and I'm done (with chemo anyway).  I'm still waiting for the side effects to kick in, but so far, nothing too bad ... just tiredness.  I can do tiredness!!

My sweet daughter-in-law brought me pot roast, her delicious homemade mashed potatoes, and homemade banana muffins on Saturday.  I got two dinners out of her feast.  I think that red meat might have helped my blood counts go up, too.  I was afraid my chemo would be postponed because of low red blood counts and anemia.  But, NO!  I was in perfect shape.  I think Marian's dinners did the trick.  I also had a heart echo (ultra sound) done this week as well.  The drugs I'm taking can cause damage to my heart, but good news again.  Perfect numbers!  I guess I'm as healthy as a horse.

Susan, my good friend from college (we've known each other since 1964), called Sunday because she knew I was going for chemo again.  The reason for her call?  She wanted to make me laugh so she had two hilarious jokes.  I get almost instant emotional healing when I'm laughing.  I just love laughing from my belly and Susan always makes me laugh out loud.  (LOL!)

My good friend, Leigh Ann, sat through chemo with me and, as usual, brought something to eat.  She made me banana nut muffins.  How delicious.  Leigh Ann always seems to know exactly what I need and want.  She runs around getting things for me while I'm in the chemo chair and keeps me covered in warm blankets.  I adore Leigh Ann.

I went to little Clark's Grandparent's Day last week.  He showed me something he'd written in his journal.  Made me cry, of course!

And here we are having lunch when we were finished at school.  We have such a special relationship, and he loves me the same ... with or without hair.

And here's another picture of my newest grandchild, Charlie, with his adorable big sister, Sophia.  

More later!!

#4 CHEMO DONE!!

October 5

I have ONLY two more treatments left and then I'm finished with chemo!  All in all, it hasn't been such a hard journey.  There have been a few bumps along the road, but nothing that rest and naps didn't help.  I am so blessed.

Last week, my sweet hairdresser brought me a huge chicken sour cream enchilada casserole.  HUGE!  I put it in the freezer so I can serve my entire family at some point.  Maybe during the OU/Texas game??  I was so touched by her kindness.   

Here is one of my favorite new pics of my guy, Charlie, and his big sister, Sophia.  Awwwwww.