My Family

September 30

This past weekend, my son, Jason, who lives in Washington, DC, came for a visit.  It was the highlight of the month (maybe even the past four months)!  Jason is the sweetest man I know.  The whole time he was here he would continuously ask, "Do you need anything, Mom?"  Such beautiful words.  He and his significant other came just for the purpose of helping me feel better.  Of course, Jason wanted to meet his new nephew, Charlie, too.

This pic is of Jason holding Charlie with Sophia (Charlie's big sister) and Emily, my daughter and the mother of these adorable children.

And here is my very favorite picture of all time.  My entire family, including my ex-husband, Clark:

My five grandchildren from left to right:

Walt, Charlotte, Sophia, Clark, and Charlie.  I adore these precious children.

Also from left to right:

My daughter-in-law, Marian, her husband and my son, Ryan, his twin brother, Jason, Jason's significant other, Roxy, Big Clark, my daughter, Emily, and her husband, Peter.  Love this picture.  And all the people in it!

And here's a recent picture of my guy, Charlie:

My Friends

September 29

I've had treatment #3 and that means I'm half-way through!  Woo! Hoo!  The side effects after #3 were practically nothing.  The only one that bothered me was the bone-deep fatigue and weakness.  It lasted about a week.  Two days after my treatment I slept for 48 hours solid except for grabbing some food and visiting the loo.  My oncologist had already warned me that the fatigue would be cumulative from one treatment to the next, so I was prepared.  Not too bad, though.  I really can't complain.

I have some extraordinary friends ...

One friend sent me a picture of the t-shirt her brother wore in the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure run in New York City.  I cried when I saw this picture.  And then I cried some more.  All the way up in New York, someone I've never met in my life wore this shirt in my honor.  It just doesn't get more meaningful than this.  Thank you, Carla.  I love you!

Tonight, my friend down the street brought me this delicious food.  She's Greek and she cooks delicious food constantly.  I've eaten part of what she brought me and it was fabulous.  And nourishing.  And so very comforting.  The bread?  She makes it herself.  Yummy.

My friend, Malin, brought me 4 good-sized slices of lasagna, packaged for freezing.  She also brought fresh spinach and a fabulous loaf of bread.  My good friend, Leigh Ann, brought me a small meatloaf and a pan of zitti.  I haven't thawed them yet, but I will do that very soon.  Leigh Ann is an excellent cook so I can't wait!  (It's not a very pretty picture, but the thoughts and kindness in the picture are beautiful.)

A few days ago, the mailman delivered a box that contained 6 apple cinnamon muffins.  These muffins came from my best friend of 47 years who lives in Mississippi.  We were college roommates and we've stayed in touch since our college days.  Susan knows how much I love muffins, so she made some and sent them overnight mail.  Another sweet gesture that brought me to tears.  Susan lives far away and she's not in the best of health.  Nonetheless, she found a way to express her love for me.  I'm so grateful for my friendship with Susan.  (Notice ... I've already enjoyed two of these yummy muffins!)

And look at this cute scarf that another friend sent me.  I just can't believe how giving and kind people are.  Amazes me almost every day.

What would I do without my friends?  There's no way I'll ever be able to repay these amazing women.  Never.  But I'll try.  That's a promise.

WHOLE FOODS, baby!

September 28

Lookie here!!

This evening I took a walk down to the new Whole Foods that is opening OCTOBER 12!  I wasn't walking that fast, and it took me exactly 8 minutes to get there!  Walking, mind you.  Here are some pics of the inside:

It's hard to tell, but the computers are up and running and most of the shelves are stocked!  I'm beside myself with excitement about this development.  I've watched it from the time there was a funeral home on the property, then the funeral home was demolished, the land was cleared and a sign went up that stated, "Whole Foods.  Coming Soon."  Couldn't believe my eyes.  

Right beside Whole Foods will be another favorite store of mine.  ANTHROPOLOGIE!!

Here's what it looked like tonight:

This is at the end of the Anthropologie building.  It's so cool in real life.

Anthropologie will open in February.  I need to start saving my money.  Especially since it takes me 8 minutes to walk down there.  Oh, my.  I'm in serious trouble!

Some Interesting Info Here

September 11

I'm enclosing a link with some very interesting reading.  I wish more people knew this information.  People frequently say to me, 'Well, the surgeon got all the cancer, so you'll be fine."  Makes it sound like i have a bad case of the flu, but I'm on the mend.  The link below brought it all into perspective for me.
Type in Andrea Mitchell in the search box and it will take you to the article I'm talking about.  For some reason, I can't get it to work correctly.  Oops!

 linky




I hope you'll read it!

Today I'm sending prayers and positive thoughts to the families and friends who lost loved ones on 

September 11, 2001.

So much bravery on that day.  And so much sadness.

We Will Never Forget

My Friends

September 10

On Thursday, my good friend, Leigh Ann, brought me a dozen homemade blueberry muffins.  She knows they are my favorites.  She even packaged them three in a baggie so that I could freeze them and eat one when i wanted.  She told me, "Now you'll have a blueberry muffin whenever you want."  Makes me cry just writing about it.  She also told me that she was making chicken spaghetti and bringing to me when she comes to be with me during my next chemo treatment.  I'm so grateful for Leigh Ann.

I've also received some wonderful cards this week.  Two of them were from the same person: my daughter-in-law's mother.  It means so much when someone takes the time to send a hand-written note offering encouragement and love.  Thank you, Linda.

Today, my friend, Malin, stood at my front door with a sack full of food: lasagna, spinach salad, and wonderful bread.  The lasagna came in four different pieces all wrapped in plastic wrap so i could freeze them and eat a piece when i wanted.  Genius!  Thank you, Malin, my friend.

I don't think there's any way I could get through this without my friends.  They comfort me, let me whine and complain, step up without any expectations from me, and are simply available.  I couldn't ask for more.

Here's a new picture of my guy, Charlie.

A Sad Day

September 4

I am two weeks past my last chemo treatment.  From my experience with the first treatment, I should feel excellent by now.  I don't.  I'm almost too tired to leave my bed.  All I want to do is sleep.

I'm emotional, too.  I think it's just dawning on me that I have breast cancer and that it's a very serious type of breast cancer.  Oh, I know ... the surgeon removed the tumor and the margins were clear.  There was no lymph node involvement.  All of this is excellent news.

Still.  I have breast cancer.  Or I had a cancerous tumor, until the surgeon removed it.  And now I'm getting chemo and the reason is in case there are random cancer cells floating around in my system.  Sometimes cancer cells escape through the blood and not through the lymph nodes.

I had a test that estimated I had an 84% chance of NOT having a recurrence.  I don't like those odds.  I'm now living with the fear of getting mets and breast cancer usually metastasizes to the brain, the bones, and/or the liver.  This is my daily fear.

I've never been much of a pill taker.  Sometimes I even forget that I can take a Tylenol for a bad headache.  Now, however, I'm taking so many drugs that they're lined up beside my bed.  I'm taking drugs to deal with the side effects of the drugs that deal with the side effects of the chemo.  My port incision became infected so I took massive amounts of penicillin that caused new side effects.  I have three over-the-counter medications and one prescription to deal with the penicillin side effects.  I have medications for constipation, diarrhea, nausea, heartburn, joint pain (caused by a shot to treat the side effects of a compromised immune system caused by chemo).  I take steroids to deal with chemo side effects.  One of the new side effects I've developed is sores in my mouth and on my lips and a fingernail that is beginning to lift.  All of this is because of chemo.

Also, the chemo I'm taking can cause heart problems, so I'll be getting a heart ultra sound again in three months.  My body is not the same and never will be and I'm scared.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I don't like that one bit.  I don't like all the pink doo-dads that manufacturers sell to make money in the name of breast cancer awareness.  Sure, they say a portion of the sales will go to 'breast cancer awareness,' but how much is that portion?  I'll bet it's no more than 5 cents on the dollar, at the most.  My disease isn't pink and I don't want to be affiliated with the pink ribbons, the pink hats, shirts, pajamas, the coffee mugs, or magnetic pink ribbon car tags or license plate holders.  I want ALL my money to go for research, not for 'awareness.'  What is that anyway?  Awareness will not cure me, nor will it keep another woman from getting breast cancer.  

We need research.  More and more research and we need it fast.  Not in ten years.  Now.

That's the end of my rant.  I'm scared and I'm tired.

A Beautiful Day!

September 1

My fifth grandchild came into the world today.  His name is Charles Clark McConnell, but we'll call him Charlie.  My guy, Charlie.  The most precious baby boy I know.