Gratitude

August 31

Lots of sweet things happened this week that made this journey a lot easier.  I'm so grateful for friends and family.  

My friend, Lyn, and I have been friends since college ... that would be about 47 years!  She sent me a fabulous calendar that she designs and sells around the country.  It's so awesome.  On each page is a pocket for those loose items or notes or receipts that always seem to get lost in the bottom of my purse.  Ha! Here's a link to her website.  This is genius!  Thank you, dear Lyn.

On Monday when I felt my worse and all food sounded gross, my good friend, Malin, came over with the most incredible vegetable soup (with meat!) that made my day!  I've eaten some every single day since Monday.  Thank God for Malin: I might not have eaten at all that day if she hadn't just shown up with the BEST soup ever!  Vegetables, potatoes, delicious broth, tender beef ... ahhhh!  Thank you, Malin!

Earlier in the week, my sweet daughter, Emily, who is expecting baby Charlie any second now, brought over my favorite dessert of all time:  fresh peach cobbler.  My good friend, Leigh Ann, had already made some for me right after my second treatment, but I (shamefully) ate it all in just a few days.  Emily to the rescue!  Would you look at this cobbler?  I can't begin to describe how wonderful this thing tasted.  Thank you, sweet Emily.

And last, but certainly not least, is something my granddaughter, Sophia, left for me yesterday.  It tasted just as good as it looks, too!  YUM.  Gotta love that sweet Sophia.

One thing for sure:  I haven't been hungry during the past week, thanks to my angels on earth.

A Bad Week

August 30

Ok, well, chemo #2 was kind of a bummer.  I felt fine the day of and the day after chemo, but after that, for the past week, it's been difficult.  One of the main reasons for the trouble this time is that the incision for my port had a staph infection and Dr. G. prescribed a huge dose of penicillin to get rid of the infection.  Otherwise, I'd have to have my port removed and that would be horrible.  Really horrible.  I don't even want to think about how horrible it would be.

So the antibiotic kicked up some other side effects and life has been somewhat miserable, BUT I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I hope to make it to the post office in the next day or so.  That would be progress.

Mr. Chemo Man

August 22

Today was chemo treatment #2.  I must admit that I was a little nervous because I've been feeling so good the past two weeks and I think it's so weird to do something purposefully that you know will make you feel badly for a few days.  Oh, well.  I have no choice, right?  As usual, the precious duo was with me, as well as my good friend, Leigh Ann.

The good news is that my port worked and the nurse was able to draw blood from it after just a few tries.  The bad news is that my port incision is infected.  Not good at all.  Dr. G put me on a massive dose of antibiotics, though, and that should clear it right up.

Here I am getting ready for the actual chemo.  That little blue thingy coming out of my blouse is hooked to my port and the chemo drugs just hook right into it.  Genius!

Today I took Mr. Chemo Man with me.  He's my visualization of my friend, chemo.  He's also a toy that my grandson (Clark) leaves at my house and when I see this toy, I think of Clark.  Love that boy.  My Chemo Man has a bald head and wears red glasses like mine:

Then, when he goes to work on my cancer cells, he puts on his armor and gets busy.  He says to me, 'Connie, honey, I'm sorry that I might cause you a few side effects, but I'm your friend and I will work hard to make you healthy."  I love Mr. Chemo Man.

My sister took an 'artsy' picture of Mr. Chemo Man.  He sits right beside me during my treatment. I like this pic!  

My friend, Leigh Ann, brought me a cap that she'd crocheted for me.  It is so adorable and most importantly, it's filled with love.  Every single stitch.  I love Leigh Ann.  She always knows exactly what to do when there's a need.  Today she's making me a peach cobbler (my favorite!) and some potato soup. In this picture, she and I are discussing the death of one of our dear friends who died this morning.  Sandy B. was a 20-year breast cancer survivor who died of a disease unrelated to breast cancer.  She was a huge part of my life and I'll miss knowing she is a part of my world.  

It was another great day at the cancer center.  Everyone is incredibly sweet and kind there.  I'm so blessed and so grateful.  

What Not to Say to A Cancer Patient, Part Two

August 17

You know that old saying about not judging someone until you've walked a mile in his/her shoes?  Well, the same thing goes for being a breast cancer patient.  Before my diagnosis, I had NO idea what was about to happen to me.  NO. IDEA.  

Now, almost three months later, after surgery, tests, tests, and more tests, and one round of chemo, I am just now beginning to understand what it's like to be a breast cancer patient.  I've learned an incredible amount about the human soul, the human will to live, the human need for touch and support, and basically, the humanity of the human spirit.

Here are a few more ideas of what NOT to say to a cancer patient:
"Let me know if I can do anything."
"Call me if you need me."
"I'm here if you need me.  Just call."
"How are you doing, you poor thing?" (in a pitiful voice)
"Have you thrown up yet?" (yes, someone actually asked me that.)

Here's an idea of something you can do:

I've received lots of cards (some shown here) and it always touches me that someone would take the time to find the card, sign it, put a stamp on it and mail it.  Such sweetness.

Or how about this:

Just drop off a vanilla cupcake.  During chemo plain tastes better than spicy.  This cupcake was very soothing.  Yum!

This came one day early on and it was such a comforting gesture.

I had a friend send three dinners and a piece of coconut cream pie from a local kitchen that makes special take-out and has some specific meals for chemo patients.  The food was absolutely delicious and probably kept me from getting sicker.

I think the most important thing is to DO something.  Anything.  I don't think most chemo patients would take you up on your offer to call you if there's anything you can do.  Nope. We're fighting a battle here.  We're worried, tired, sometimes sick, dealing with all kinds of side effects of the chemo.  If you want to do something for a cancer patient, remember that the operative word is DO.

I Love Bert (Warning: Bald Pictures)

August 13

Today was another big step in my journey.  Today, I lost all my hair.  ALL of it.  It had begun coming out the past two days and I did not want hunks of it coming out in the shower or in my bed.  Today I had it shaved.

My son-in-law sent me to his family's barber, Bert.  I LOVE Bert!  He was the kindest, dearest man I've ever met.  He told me to come in when no one else was in the shop so I wouldn't be embarrassed.  Of course, the precious duo went too and I was so grateful for that.  (I learned that Bert is Sam Bradford's barber, too.  That makes him even more special!)

Here's Bert with me after the shave.  I'd packed a scarf to conceal my head!

During the shave ... we were going for the faux-hawk!

My precious Emily stood beside me and held my hand the whole time.  I must admit, I was afraid to look.  (Emily should have her baby any day now!)

The next picture is me with a bald head.


It's rather shocking if you know me well, but it's me and it's the real me for now.  (And yes ... Life is Good!)

A bald head is very cold even though it's hot here in Oklahoma!  As I'm typing this, I have a soft little beanie on my head.  So weird.  

I think I'll get used to my bald head eventually, but for now, I don't like seeing myself in the mirror.  It's just so danged weird.  Two good things for sure, though:  It will grow back and boy, this is definitely a wash and wear hair cut!!  Ha!

Enjoying the Small Things

August 8

This is my daughter and her daughter (my first granddaughter) about three years ago.

And here we are today!

I can't believe how fast time flies and i'm trying to take advantage of every single day!  Sophia wanted me to get in bed with her mama and her after school today so we could 'snuggle' and watch movies.  My daughter is on bed-rest with her second child (a boy) who should make his entrance any second.  That's why were all piled up in her bed.

Saw my oncologist today ... my blood work was 'perfect.'  Overall, I had maybe four 'not-the-best' days since my first chemo last Thursday.  I can't complain about THAT.  The worst side-effect has definitely been bone-crashing fatigue.  But, hey! ... I'm old.  I'm ALWAYS tired!  Ha!

One treatment down ... only 5 to go!!

Bye-Bye Boogie Man

August 2

Well, Mr. Boogie Man and I have been spending a few days together, so I've been MIA.  I don't know how the boogie man got into my house because he certainly wasn't welcome here, but he told me that if I want to beat this beast, I might have to hang with him occasionally.  But only occasionally, I made him promise.  

It wasn't too horrible.  A whole day of queasiness and bone-deep tiredness, so I slept and slept.  Today I'm better.  Hopefully, by the weekend I'll be 100%.  My next treatment is the end of August, and I have many plans between now and then!  

Frankly, if Mr. Boogie Man never comes back, I'll be very happy!  He's not a very considerate guest.